On Fri, Nov 5, 2021 at 4:19 AM Nurani Nimpuno nurani@nimblebits.net wrote:
Hi,
I’m fine with the modifications. However if we are fixing up the document, it could be worth re-editing the entire document to make it a little more legible and clearer. The document currently feels like the result of patchwork and it doesn’t have a particularly good flow or legibilitiy imo.
I went back over my comments this evening and reviewed them from this perspective. Agreed.
That is of course a much larger task than simply striking some parts. If we don’t go down that path, then let’s at least correct some of the grammatical errors in the document, such as:
• 6.6.2.3. ICANN Board RejectionIf the ICANN Board rejects a proposal it will provide the Address Council with it specific concerns regarding the policy proposal.
Should be:
• If the ICANN Board rejects a proposal it will provide theAddress Council with *its* specific concerns regarding the policy proposal.
Regarding your point on a larger edit. This round of edits is so small it almost demands waiting for something substantial like a clarity edit. I'd be in favor of such an approach. Good work, Kevin, and thanks for the edits.
Warm regards,
-M<
ov 2021, at 01:42, German Valdez german@apnic.net wrote:
Dear ASO AC
As per discussion in the last meeting the document will be open for
comments for 14 days before presenting a final version for the voting of the ASO AC members.
Deadline to submit your comments is Tuesday 16 November 2021.
Regards
German Valdez
From: AC-DISCUSS ac-discuss-bounces@aso.icann.org on behalf of Martin
Hannigan hannigan@gmail.com
Date: Thursday, 4 November 2021 at 4:45 am To: Kevin Blumberg kevinb@thewire.ca Cc: ASO Address Council Public Discussion List <ac-discuss@aso.icann.org
Subject: Re: [AC-DISCUSS] Draft of Changes to Operating Procedures
Section 6
Converted to Word/Docs to provide comments.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L6qgfsLsu9OtVhtrWvfYK2MiCLzXC573YwqZLAl_...
Thanks
-M<
On Wed, Nov 3, 2021 at 6:52 AM Kevin Blumberg kevinb@thewire.ca wrote: I have attached a redline set of changes to the ASO AC Procedures for
Global Policy Development under Section 6.
I added one additional piece of text to show that Annex A is the
authoritative document.
If you have any additional recommendations or edits please send them in.
Thanks,
Kevin
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