Nurani,
I agree that grammatical change should be fixed.
Regarding the edits, they are predominantly editorial and fix pointers to the ASO MOU and ICANN Bylaws.
I still recommend that we move this forward and look at the larger issue of a rewrite in 2022.
One option would be to scrap the procedures entirely from Section 6, insert the Attachment A which is prescriptive and have additional text for each step.
Thanks,
Kevin
-----Original Message----- From: Nurani Nimpuno nurani@nimblebits.net Sent: Friday, November 5, 2021 4:19 AM To: Kevin Blumberg kevinb@thewire.ca Cc: Martin Hannigan hannigan@gmail.com; German Valdez Avilés german@apnic.net; ASO Address Council Public Discussion List ac-discuss@aso.icann.org Subject: Re: [AC-DISCUSS] Draft of Changes to Operating Procedures Section 6
Hi,
I’m fine with the modifications. However if we are fixing up the document, it could be worth re-editing the entire document to make it a little more legible and clearer. The document currently feels like the result of patchwork and it doesn’t have a particularly good flow or legibilitiy imo.
That is of course a much larger task than simply striking some parts. If we don’t go down that path, then let’s at least correct some of the grammatical errors in the document, such as:
• 6.6.2.3. ICANN Board Rejection If the ICANN Board rejects a proposal it will provide the Address Council with it specific concerns regarding the policy proposal.
Should be:
• If the ICANN Board rejects a proposal it will provide the Address Council with *its* specific concerns regarding the policy proposal.
Thanks, Nurani
On 5 Nov 2021, at 01:42, German Valdez german@apnic.net wrote:
Dear ASO AC
As per discussion in the last meeting the document will be open for comments for 14 days before presenting a final version for the voting of the ASO AC members.
Deadline to submit your comments is Tuesday 16 November 2021.
Regards
German Valdez
From: AC-DISCUSS ac-discuss-bounces@aso.icann.org on behalf of Martin Hannigan hannigan@gmail.com Date: Thursday, 4 November 2021 at 4:45 am To: Kevin Blumberg kevinb@thewire.ca Cc: ASO Address Council Public Discussion List ac-discuss@aso.icann.org Subject: Re: [AC-DISCUSS] Draft of Changes to Operating Procedures Section 6
Converted to Word/Docs to provide comments.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L6qgfsLsu9OtVhtrWvfYK2MiCLzXC573YwqZLAl_...
Thanks
-M<
On Wed, Nov 3, 2021 at 6:52 AM Kevin Blumberg kevinb@thewire.ca wrote: I have attached a redline set of changes to the ASO AC Procedures for Global Policy Development under Section 6.
I added one additional piece of text to show that Annex A is the authoritative document. If you have any additional recommendations or edits please send them in.
Thanks,
Kevin
AC-DISCUSS mailing list - Workspace for ASO AC operations. Posting is restricted, archive is publicly available. AC-DISCUSS@aso.icann.org https://aso.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/ac-discuss _______________________________________________ AC-DISCUSS mailing list - Workspace for ASO AC operations. Posting is restricted, archive is publicly available. AC-DISCUSS@aso.icann.org https://aso.icann.org/mailman/listinfo/ac-discuss